Employment is nature's physician, and is essential to human happiness. - Galen

March, 2009: The Healing Power of Labor

Today I spent the morning cleaning my refrigerator. It is a methodical sort of work; pulling out each of the compartments, sudsing them up in the kitchen sink, windexing the glass parts, wiping everything down again. It takes a while but the reward is worthwhile; there's nothing like a gleaming white, squeaky clean appliance!

Buddhists speak of finding joy in the details of ordinary life. Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist nun and writer states; "Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior's world" ¹ I have always said that the ultimate Buddhist is the person challenged by Alzheimer's or other memory-robbing diseases. These folks only have the moment, for the very recent past is not even a memory and the future doesn't really matter to them at all, for they really can't make plans (since planning takes memory).

So in deference to helping your loved one to find joy, it is necessary to allow him/her to experience industry by offering opportunities to complete household tasks! We all know about folding laundry...the tried and true intervention. But how about scrubbing the sink, sweeping the floor, or washing windows, mirrors or woodwork? If you loved one is unable to stand up and move about safely, there are always the tasks of organizing pictures in an album, stirring batter, kneading dough, or polishing silverware or jewelry or even shoes!

If you are worried about toxicity of products, you can purchase your supplies from natural food stores (see some ideas below). Icing and decorating cupcakes is a great occupation. Then you can share them with a great-grandchild's kindergarten class (or even better...send them to the Abigail Adams Center!) If you loved one was a plant person, picking off the dead leaves of plants like geraniums can take some time to complete! Some women always hand-washed certain clothes and you could station your loved one at a sink full of Woolite and let them delight in the process of scrubbing the delicate items. Use lavender or other beautifully fragrant soap to delight the senses! Hand washing the dishes is another great (and familiar) occupation, but be sure to put down some waterproof padding on the sink surface in case the plates slip from their fingers. Why not dump out the sock draw and let your friend match up the pairs? Be sure to give some atmosphere to the work scene...some old time big band music might be the ticket. Then they can whistle while they work!

For more able-bodied guys, yard work is a most familiar activity. When spring arrives, a good sweeping of the driveway and paths is certainly in order. Or one could sweep and wash the porch, dust the railings or wash the reachable outside windows.

It's important to remember that your loved one may need cueing from time to time; so stick close by them if you want the work to go more smoothly. For if they forget what they're doing, they may ditch the project or become irritated with themselves! One of the benefits to you as the caregiver is that expending energy will tired your loved one out in a good way; and when they sleep it will be a little sounder!

People often forget that work gives people dignity and without it a person feels lost and adrift. We must always remember not to dehumanize our loved ones, for they are so very, very sensitive and keen to others' emotions. So even if the kitchen ends up somewhat messy or the windows are a tad bit streaked, that means nothing... if your loved one feel proud and happy in a job well done!

Julie Wesolowski, Program Director

1. The Places That Scare You, Chodron, Pema, 2001, Shambala Publications (Boston), Page 63
Natural Cleaning products can be found at Whole Foods Market (Derby Mall Hingham,Ma), Good Health store in Quincy, Ma (Hancock St), Trader Joe's (Hanover, Ma) and Shaklee Products on the web: www.shaklee.com

What's Cooking At The Abby Club

Last month, we culminated February (and hopefully the Winter!) with a delightful trip out to the Windsor Tea Room in Cohasset, Ma. We were very fortunate to have volunteer chaperoning help; namely Priscilla Connors, Ray Molling, and Kevin and Linda Veigas who were all so helpful in allowing a very smooth and seamless trip out. Thank you all for your presence! We were treated to delicious soups, scones, teas and chocolate brownies and petit fours. The weather surely cooperated, as we had 50+ degree weather, which was a surprise and delight for the end of February.

We will hold off on a field trip for the month of March but will start planning for the April trip. Our planned May Trip is to the Fuller Art Museum in Brockton which is a specially designed tour of the collection there for people challenged by memory loss AND the cost is free!

The support group which meets the last Tuesday of each month has been having a lower than usual turnout, which I would attribute to the cold weather. However, please keep in mind that it is out there for your benefit, so participation in it is encouraged! Priscilla Connors takes off from work each month to do this, so please consider attending... it is really a good intervention for those of you feeling stressed!

Lastly, I would like to thank the family of Rose Tobin, who died in January, for naming The Abigail Adams Center as the recipient of memorial donations in Rosie's name. Rose Tobin was a "club member" for nine years and both Rosie and her family had become akin to our own family. Rosie was always laughing and cheerful, had the best hands for holding and was always there with a willing hug. She raised a family of nine with courage, grace and an open heart. She always talked about "the kids", as she was rightfully proud of each and every one of them. The family successfully kept her out of a nursing home for her whole life, even after she suffered a devastating stroke in late November. Her family all worked together in a spirit of love and cooperation with only their mother's welfare in mind. Her daughter Kathy was a hero through it all and will always be my hero! On our website, you will see Rosie's picture twice; once at a nice tea party we attended and again there is a picture of Rosie's hand holding another woman's hand that Lucia took not long ago. Below the hands rests a magazine with a baby's picture on it and the caption reads, "Life takes Stamina". Words to live by, and taught to us each day, by our wonderful, beautiful Rosie!